


How Long When You Tell Me to Wait for You

by QuirkyNeon (iforgetlikeanelephant)



Category: Generation Kill
Genre: M/M, Ray has feelings (and a potty mouth), Soulmate AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-25 15:21:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12038682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iforgetlikeanelephant/pseuds/QuirkyNeon
Summary: Ray has gotten used to the dull, empty ache of rejection where his soulmate bond lives in his brain, so why thehellis it starting to not feel empty anymore? Did he manage to make it fix itself by sheer will-power alone? Ray doesn't know, all he knows is that he's neck deep infeelingsand he's over it.Written for Day 5 of GenKill week (i'm so late I know, it's a curse)





	How Long When You Tell Me to Wait for You

**Author's Note:**

> I'm late, I'm so late, and I'm sorry but that's what happens when the inspiration for the story strikes at midnight the day it's supposed to be posted *laughs*

Ray is belly down in the goddamn desert in goddamn Iraq and goddamnit, all he wanted to do was take a  _ shit _ . “I swear to God, Trombley, if you get me killed I’m gonna fucking kill you,” He mumbles to the man face down next to him at his three, the both of them struggling to get their SAWs up and in a good enough position to shoot back. 

 

“Person, if you’re dead already you can’t kill me,” Trombley shoots back and what the hell man,  _ fuck Trombley _ . 

 

“Fuck you, Trombley,” Ray snaps as he finally manages to get his SAW out in front of himself, aiming in the direction that he sees muzzle flashes coming from, “Use your baby killing skills and actually shoot a bad guy for once, fuck face.”

 

Ray hears Trombley mumble something about killing  _ whatever _ it is he’s thinking about killing, who the fuck knows with Trombley, but he’s not really listening to the kid as he empties his clip, fingers metaphorically crossed as he hopefully hits the asshole Haji that’s shooting at them. “I just don’t get it, Person, why the  _ fuck _ would they just shoot at  _ us _ ?” Trombley says after a few moments, the two of them having emptied their clips as they stay low, waiting to see if they’ll get shot at again. 

 

“Because BK, we were all alone, it’s the same reason asshole dudes like _you_ swoop in on a woman when she’s alone, vulnerability and you hope you’ll get to shoot your load in her face. Well, we were the ladies and those bullets were their load,” Ray says this conversationally as he pops himself up on his elbows, feeling safe enough at the lack of bullets flying their way to test the waters. He sits up all the way after a few more moments and lets out a sigh of relief when nothing else flies toward them. “Wonderful, hand me my shitter, and can you fucking _stand_ _guard_ this time instead of lollygagging with your thumb up your ass so that I don’t get shot?” He stands up, undoing his MOPP suit quickly as Trombley hands his shitter over and turns his back on him, giving him at least some semblance of privacy. 

 

“Why the fuck do we have to be the women in that scenario though?” Trombley asks as he reloads his SAW, “That doesn’t make any fucking sense, man, we shot back.”

 

Ray snorts out a laugh as he takes a baby wipe out of the packet he has shoved in the blouse of his MOPP suit, “You’re telling me that you’ve never been shot down by a woman hard enough that it  _ felt _ like you’ve been shot?” He wipes himself and then hops off the shitter, pulling his MOPP up quick and wiping the shitter down before he drops the baby wipe over his…mess. “I’m just saying, you found your soulmate in high school and that’s great for you homes, a real tear jerker,” He pauses to make a jerking off motion with his hand as he steps up next to Trombley, “But you’re telling me that you didn’t get smacked down so bad before you found her that you thought you were dying?”

 

“Well yeah man, but it doesn’t matter in the end because I  _ did _ find my soulmate, all those Hajis found was  _ death _ ,” Trombley says as they start on their way back to where the battalion is bedded down for the night, “That’s not at all like getting shot down by a woman.”

 

“You obviously haven’t been shot down by the right person, homes, because I guarantee that it can feel  _ just _ like you’ve been shot in the fact,” Ray says this seriously, because he’s pretty sure he’s the only person that he knows that’s been turned down by their soulmate, and his soulmate doesn’t even realize he’s done it. 

 

Trombley is quiet for a few more feet before he tilts his head toward Ray, “You’ve been fucked up by your soulmate, haven’t you?” 

 

Ray snorts out a laugh, adjusting his grip on his shitter as the rest of their battalion comes into view. “Can’t be fucked up by them when they don’t even realize they’re your soulmate and then turn down the idea of ever being with their soulmate right in front of you,” He says this as he shoulders his SAW, using his now free hand to shoot a finger gun at Trombley. 

 

“Raw, dude,” He says as they pull up next to Rudy’s Humvee, “Fruity Rudy, did you know that Person here got the fucking  _ smackdown  _ from his soulmate?”

 

“Brother,” Rudy says as he jump down from the hood to the dirt in front of the two of them, “You got your heart broken by your soulmate?”

 

“No,” Ray says emphatically, “BK is being dramatic, I just found out that they are staunchly against soulmates and they happened to say it right in my face so that whole soulmate spirit thing took it as a direct rejection.”

 

Rudy claps him on the shoulder and Ray tries very hard to not roll his eyes at the concerned look on his face because really, it’s not that serious. It’s  _ not _ . “I'm sorry brother, that sounds rough,” He does sound sorry, which is the real kicker because neither of these guys would be this sorry if they  _ knew _ who his soulmate was. 

 

“It’s  _ fine _ , assholes, it’s not a big deal. I’ve gotten over it as much as anyone  _ can _ get over being indirectly rejected by their soulmate, it’s down to only a dull throb whenever I have to be around them so I’m  _ fine _ ,” Ray says this as he shrugs Rudy’s hand off of his shoulder, making a face. 

 

He makes his excuses to escape and does so, making his way back to his and Brad’s Humvee, putting his shitter back where it belongs. “Brad’s looking for you,” Walt says from his post on the top of the Humvee, his hands coated in gun lube, “He looked  _ pissed,  _ but last I saw he was heading toward LT’s Humvee.”

 

“Of  _ fucking _ course he’s pissed, Walt, you’re a real pal,” Ray says, tipping an imaginary hat as he turns on his heel and heads toward where he thinks he remembers seeing Nate’s Humvee before he almost got fucking shot trying to take a shit. He’s halfway to the place that he  _ thinks _ he’s supposed to be going when he feels a harsh grip on his shoulder. “Yo, what the  _ fuck _ , homes?” He asks as he turns and  _ oh _ , “Hey, Brad, heard you were looking for me.”

 

“If you could try  _ not  _ to fucking die in the goddamn desert that would be great,” Brad says, and he’s staring at Ray so seriously that it takes him a moment to realize what he’s just said because _ …what _ ?

 

Ray snorts out a laugh and rolls his eyes. “Why don’t you take it up with the  _ Hajis  _ that maybe they shouldn’t be shooting at me and Trombley when I’m just trying to take a shit, Colbert. We’re fine by the way, BK used his killing skills on the right guys this time,” He’s confused as to why Brad isn’t letting go of his shoulder, he’s also confused because, “How did you even know about that?”

 

The face Brad makes is one that he doesn’t think he’s seen before, a weird mix between infuriated and concerned which is more concerning to Ray than if Brad was just angry. “I had a feeling,” He says, and he gets the feeling that he’s not going to say much more than that, so he’s surprised when Brad continues, “It was odd, I felt this tingle in the back of my head and I just  _ knew _ you’d done some dumb shit.”

 

“ _ I _ didn’t try and shoot me,” Ray argues, and he really doesn’t want to be the guy to tell Brad that what he’s feeling is the soulmate bond. There’s literally nothing in the world that he’d rather do than  _ not _ be the one to tell Brad Colbert that even he can’t escape the clutches of a soulmate. “Like I said,” He continues, finally shaking Brad’s hand off of his shoulder, “Take it up with the Hajis.” Ray really has to take the blame for Brad feeling what he was feeling though, he’s the only one that hasn’t cut off the soulmate bond, so it’s  _ definitely _ his fault that Brad knew what was happening with him. He just….can’t persuade himself to do it, can’t persuade himself to break the last hope of the soulmate bond with Brad by rejecting him because Ray is disgustingly in love with Brad, and he doesn’t care that the other man will absolutely never return his feelings. 

 

It’s  _ fine _ . 

 

Everything in his life is  _ fine _ . 

 

“Just, be careful, Ray,” Brad says, and Ray can’t help but feel that shiver of ‘ _ my soulmate cares _ ’ run down his spine. He needs to go talk to Nate, the only person that knows about this big mess because Nate’s soulmate just happens to be  _ Walt _ , which is an even  _ bigger _ mess.

 

“You know me, the perfect picture or careful,” Ray says, forcing a grin on his face as he shoots Brad with the double finger guns, immediately regretting it as he says, “I have to go talk to LT about a thing, but I’ll be back to the Humvee before we’re digging the graves!” He bows out not so gracefully and ends up nearly braining himself on Encino Man’s Humvee door, cursing slightly as he hears a sharp intake of breath from Brad immediately followed by a laugh, the breath is enough for him to realize that Brad probably felt his moment of panic and  _ God _ , this is so bad. 

 

He makes it to Nate’s Humvee just as the man he’s looking for hops down off of the hood. “You look panicked, Corporal,” Nate says in greeting, and Ray is so pleased that it’s showing on his face. 

 

“Well I almost got shot while taking a shit, so that will do a lot to you,” He says lightly as he steps up to Nate, lowering his voice as he adds, “Your soulmate actually feeling what almost happened to you will also do that to you.”

 

“Oh  _ Jesus _ ,” Nate says, rubbing his face, “Is he freaking out?”

 

“He probably would be if he  _ realized what it is _ !” Ray says as he begins pacing and he honestly can’t believe he’s about to say this but, “I don’t think Brad realizes that’s what it is! I think he just thinks it’s a Sergeant knowing what’s going on thing and not a  _ soulmate  _ thing.”

 

“ _ Jesus _ ,” Nate repeats, grabbing Ray’s arm to get him to stop pacing and Ray knows he’s got to look like a crazy person, his eyes wide as pushes his boonie back away from his forehead, letting it hang from his neck. “I thought you said he rejected the bond?” Nate asks and yeah, Ray had thought so too, it certainly  _ feels _ like he’s been rejected. 

 

“Is it possible for one side of a bond to be so strong that it kind of starts to repair the rejected side of the bond?” Ray asks, because that’s all he can think, it’s got to be his fault that Brad’s started feeling anything from the bond. 

 

Nate shrugs as he drops Ray’s arm, “I don’t know, I’ve never heard about it before but I can’t say that it’s  _ not _ possible. Does it still  _ feel _ like it’s rejected?”

 

Ray closes his eyes, focusing on the string of bond that everyone has, as long as they’ve not been rejected by their soulmate. Ray’s looked like a cut piece of ribbon the last time he checked it out, the end curling up on itself because Brad had rejected him without even knowing it. It’s not broken anymore, it’s pulled taught and connected, at the other end, to where he assumes Brad is. “Oh  _ fuck _ ,” He says, his eyes shooting open, “It’s there again? How the  _ fuck _ is it there again?”

 

“The only way that I know of for a bond to reform is for there to be real feelings on the side of the person the initially rejected the bond, so…maybe you and them need to actually have a conversation about this whole thing,” Nate is careful not to say any names, which is the biggest reason that Ray goes to him for this kind of thing. He understands that you can’t control who your soulmate is, unlike some of the assholes they’re surrounded with would still call him a  _ fag _ for wanting to kiss Brad’s stupid fucking face. And it is pretty gay, but it’s not like he  _ picked _ Brad, his  _ soul _ did which…sounds even gayer.

 

“Yeah,” Ray agrees, folding his arms across his chest, “You’re right.”

 

————————

 

He doesn’t talk to Brad, because of  _ course _ he doesn’t. When was he supposed to? He runs out of Ripped Fuel before they reach Baghdad so he’s not very talkative, and after he gets absolutely  _ destroyed _ by Rudy he’s not in a talkative mood  _ then _ either.

 

He’s refusing to acknowledge that he’s hiding from Brad as he curls up in an office that he managed to find unlocked. Well, Ray kicked the door in, so it’s unlocked  _ now _ at least. “Corporal Person, everyone is gathering downstairs to watch Lilley’s video and you need to make an appearance,” Nate says from the doorway, “because Brad’s walking around like a goddamn kicked puppy and if I have to hear him ask one more person where you are I'm going to smack the  _ shit _ out of you.”

 

“You should smack the shit out of  _ him _ if he’s the one asking everyone,” Ray says from his spot in the spinning office chair, startling when Nate grabs the back of it and stops the spinning abruptly. Ray rolls his eyes but the look on Nate’s face is serious, which makes him pause. “Alright, fine, homes, I’ll go down and socialize,” He sighs, standing up and pushing away from the desk, grimacing when Nate smacks his shoulder lightly.

 

“Good man, it’s like a bandaid,” Nate says at his back as Ray strolls out of the office, already deciding that he’s going to take a peace offering of some of the booze that he’s got with him.

 

—————————

 

So he didn’t really talk to Brad after the peace offering, he was good enough to drink with him at least but he wanted to die the whole time os he thought talking about the soulmate thing might be a little much. Especially with the way Brad kept looking at him and he only realized later that it was probably because he had felt every blow that Rudy landed like it was happening to him and he was slowly starting to figure out  _ why _ .

 

Which is why, when they get stateside, he’s booked first flight to Missouri that he can afford, a few days after they get back to Oceanside and harassing Poke into taking him to the airport on his way out. “Homes, I’ll buy your coffee on the way, I just need to get home,” He says as he drags his duffle behind him, not even bothering to lift it as he follows Poke around the barracks. 

 

“Jesus, dawg, fine, I’ll drop you on my way! Can I get three minutes to myself to take a piss before I do it, though?” Poke sounds exasperated as he asks, and Ray realizes that he really has been bothering him since they got back on base. “Aren't there people you should say bye to before you leave for two weeks, anyway?” He asks over his shoulder as Ray lets him walk away from him.

 

“Meet here in twenty!” Ray yells at his back, ignoring the comment about saying bye to people as Poke flashes a thumbs up over his shoulder. 

 

There is one more thing he has to do. 

 

He pokes his head into Nate’s office, and isn’t that a mind trip, Nate has an  _ office _ . “Lieutenant, I have a thing I want to talk to you about,” He says as he drops his bag at his feet, leaning against Nate’s doorjamb with his hands shoved in his pockets. 

 

“A thing? That’s descriptive,” Nate says without looking up from the papers he’s signing, “C’mon in, Ray and please sit, you’re hovering.”

 

“Right, sorry,” Ray says, stepping into the office and closing the door behind himself, kicking his bag hard enough to get it out of the way as he makes his way to the chair.

 

Ray settles on the edge of the chair across the desk from Nate and watches him scribble things for a few moments before the other man breaks the silence. “They don’t tell you about all the paperwork when you’re going to war, they prep you for murder and mayhem, but I'm pretty sure in the few days we’ve been back I’ve gotten more paper-cuts than I ever did gunshot wounds,” Nate says as he lifts his face to look at Ray finally, his eyes narrowing when he drags his gaze across his face. 

 

“I—“

 

“You’re not re-upping,” Nate interrupts, and Ray is so relieved that he doesn’t have to say it out loud that he drops against the back of the chair. 

 

“No, I’m not,” Ray admits, knowing that it leaves him less than a month left on his enlistment, “I don’t want to do this anymore, homes, I can’t keep operating under shitty ROEs and idiots that duct tape their windows to stop the enemies from seeing into their Humvee, I just  _ can’t.” _

 

“Have you told him?” Nate asks, propping his head on a hand as he looks at Ray.

 

“Who?” Ray tries to play dumb but he can’t, shaking his head, “I haven’t told Brad, no. I haven’t even told him I’m leaving today to go home for our two week Libo.”

 

“Are you  _ going _ to?” Nate asks, and Ray knows he can tell the answer from the look on his face. “Ray, you should, you  _ need _ to,” He says and Nate sounds so  _ disappointed  _ that Ray covers his face just to avoid looking at him. 

 

“I know,” Ray says into his hands before he drops them with a groan, “I know I need to but I think he’s figuring it out, and I can’t deal with it.”

 

“He  _ is _ figuring it out,” Nate says, “He came to me after your fight with Rudy and asked about soul bonds and feeling pain, and then when we were on the plane, with you in the back  _ asleep _ by the way, he asked me more about ‘soulmate shit’ in his words. Do you realize how long of a plane ride it is from England to LAX, because I do, I was talking about  _ soulmates _ the whole time.”

 

Ray laughs, shaking his head as he says, “I’m sorry, homes, that sounds rough.”

 

“I thought about shooting my way out of the plane,” Nate says, and he sounds just serious enough to send Ray into hysterics. “But seriously, you’re gonna have to talk to him,” He says as he looks back down at the stack of papers in front of himself. 

 

“I’ll talk to him when I get back from Libo,” Ray promises, crossing his toes in his boots because he is very against it, but he’s going to say it just for Nate’s state of mind, “About everything.”

 

“Good to hear,” Nate says and Ray takes that as his sign to leave, grabbing his duffle as he exits Nate’s office with a quick goodbye. He rolls his eyes when the only response he gets is a loud, “Talk to him!”

 

He takes the long way back to the barracks, and by the time he’s pulling up to the spot he said he’d meet Poke at it’s about that time. Somehow the two of them manage to get out of the base without seeing anyone from their battalion, Ray figures everyone they came back with is probably sleeping off the jet lag still, or visiting their families. The two of them drive through a Starbucks drive-thru, and Ray is good on his word, handing over the cash for his fancy blended drink and Pokes boring black coffee. He hate’s to be judgy, but he can’t help it. “Homes, we’ve been in the ass pit of  _ nowhere _ with shit liquid that shouldn’t even call itself coffee and you get plain black coffee? Live a little,” He says as the other man barely moves his hands on the steering wheel to flip him off with both of them.

 

“Dawg, if I wanted that much sugar I would suck on a fuckin sugar cube,” Poke says as he turns the car onto the freeway, “You’re gonna end up with the shits on that airplane.” Ray laughs as he sips his drink through the green straw, he’s not that weak.

 

Turns out he really isn’t that weak, but only just; his stomach was nice enough to not make him need to shit until he lands at the airport in Missouri, but it’s a near thing. By the time he’s managed to call his mom to let her know he’s heading down to baggage claim he’s dragging ass, exhausted and ready to land on a bed face first. Everyone is pleased to see him, and he’s happy to see friendly faces if he’s honest, but that doesn’t stop him from poking mentally at the bond because he’s only been away from Oceanside for a handful of hours and he’s already feeling that empty part of him ache. He pushes the feeling aside because he can’t focus on that right how. 

 

————————

 

Turns out it’s all he can focus on for the nearly two weeks he’s in Missouri, the empty ache having turned to a migraine only a few days before he’s supposed to leave for California. By the time he’s back in California and in a cab on the way to the address he got from Nate, with no questions asked, he’s exhausted. Thankfully the headache had dulled nearly as soon as they touched down in California but really, after a few days with a migraine he’s ready to see at the inside of his eyelids for a few hours. He pays the cabbie and drags his duffel out of the trunk before he steels himself for what he’s about to do.  _ You can do this _ , a voice says that sounds suspiciously like Nate and isn’t  _ that _ great, his consciousness sounds like Nate Fick.

 

His knock on the door is tentative because he’s not even sure if he’s home and  _ God this was such a bad idea _ . Ray’s about to just turn and leave when the door opens and he’s hit with a wave of relief as his migraine disappears all at once. “Ray?” Brad says, and he looks as surprised and exhausted as Ray feels, “What are you doing here?” 

 

“You’re my soulmate and you broke the bond the first week that we met in Afghanistan by denying that you would ever meet your soulmate and saying that even if you  _ did _ it wouldn’t matter because soulmates were bullshit, and I was  _ fine _ , I was doing  _ great  _ handling the rejection. Until, for some reason, your Iceman cold heart decided to catch feelings for me? Or something? Because you shouldn’t have been able to tell that Trombley and I nearly got shot while I was trying to take a shit, there wasn’t supposed to be a  _ bond  _ for you to feel that through! And then I know you felt when Rudy beat the shit out of me, because I’m not  _ stupid _ , and also maybe because Nate told me. That’s not the important part! The important part is that the bond shouldn’t have been there because you denied it! You denied it, and then suddenly you’re able to tell when I’m almost  _ shot,  _ and I felt crazy. Do you realize how insane I felt once I realized the bond was  _ back _ and  _ strong _ ?” Ray says this in a wall of words, his hand clutching tightly to the duffel bag strap as he catches his breath.

 

“Do you want to come in?” Brad asks and  _ what _ ? No, Ray doesn’t want to  _ come in _ .

 

“No, I don’t want to come in,” He snaps, “I want you to tell me what the fuck happened to make this bond so strong that the moment you opened the door my headache went away. What the  _ fuck _ , homes?”

 

Brad looks equal parts amused and annoyed, and isn’t that just the norm for him when he looks at Ray. “Let’s try this again, Ray, come in and I’ll tell you all about how I managed to fall in love with your Whiskey-Tango, amphetamine driven ass while we were in the armpit of the world.”

 

“You could have led with that,” Ray says, feeling numb as he changes his grip on his duffel, “I do think I’d like to come in, in that case.” Brad snorts out a laugh and swings the door wide, backing away enough for Ray and his duffel to squeeze into the apartment. Ray can’t help but look around as he drops his duffel next to the coat rack because  _ Christ _ , of course Brad has a fucking coat rack. He lets Brad lead the way into the living room after he kicks his shoes off next to his duffel because the fucking carpets are  _ white _ , who the fuck even  _ is _ Brad, and he can’t stop the way his eyes gaze at the wide breadth of the other man’s shoulders as he walks in front of him. 

 

“Make yourself at home,” Brad says over his shoulder, and Ray can hear the sarcasm in his voice, which makes him laugh lightly. “Do you want a drink?” He asks as he gestures to the couch, which Ray drops onto easily, bringing a hand up to rub at his forehead as Brad continues, “Because I need one.”

 

“No drinks, please,” Ray says quickly, “I want to talk without hiding behind alcohol or Ripped Fuel or…anything. I need to say this with both of us in our sharpest minds because I thought that I was the one that made the bond heal itself.” He shakes his head, laughing as he drops his hand down into his lap, looking up at Brad who’s still standing in front of him. “I thought I was wishing so hard for the bond to be real again that I wished it into existence, so you have to understand why I didn’t want to talk about it. I thought it was  _ me _ , but then Nate said that you noticed enough to tell him and I just…couldn’t deal with that and so I went to Missouri for nearly all of Libo but then ended up with a blinding migraine for the last few days so. I’m here now, because I needed to know what the hell happened.”

 

If Ray didn’t know any better he’d think that Brad looked  _ scared _ but there’s no way that’s true. Is there? Brad sucks in a deep breath and holds his hands, palms out, at his side as he starts talking. “I don’t remember telling you that soulmates were bullshit but it doesn’t surprise me that I would, especially in Afghanistan. I  _ do _ however remember the sharp zap of pain and the thought  _ oh God, where’s Ray _ ? That day in Iraq when you and Trombley almost got shot, and then feeling like I was actually getting punched in the face when Rudy was beating the shit out of you. I thought that was all on me, I thought that I was imagining it because I wanted so badly to be with you that I was forming some type of false soul bond that was really just like…a placebo effect. Turns out, as Nate told me, that shit doesn’t exist and you had actually felt your soulmate bond come back to life. I knew already, because Nate is awful at secrets, that you’re my soulmate before you told me today, but that doesn’t mean I believed it so. Your headache  _ was _ my fault, I was tugging on the bond the whole time you were gone in some weird game of pulling your pigtails because I figured if it got annoying enough you’d come see me before the end of Libo,” Brad says this all without looking at Ray, looking at his socked feet instead with enough intensity that Ray can’t help but wiggle on the spot, anxiety high as he curls his hands into fists on his knees. 

 

“You’re an asshole,” He says eventually, and it’s enough to make Brad laugh slightly, finally looking up at Ray’s face. “You’re an  _ asshole _ , oh my  _ God _ , are you serious? I thought I had wished this fucking bond back together and the whole time you thought you were imagining it? That is—that’s the  _ dumbest fucking thing, _ ” Ray is so overwhelmed that he doesn’t know what to say so instead he stands up and grabs Brad by the shoulders, shaking him gently. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Brad says, and Ray doesn’t think he’s ever heard him sound so serious, “I didn’t know how you’d react if I just fucking told you that I wanted to kiss your stupid face, okay? And you were so hyped up on Ripped Fuel all the goddamn time that I didn’t think you could be considered in your right mind.”

 

“I was so hyped up on Ripped Fuel because I was trying to ignore the fact that my soul bond felt  _ empty _ , do you realize that? I felt like I was walking around half-full the whole fucking time, and then when it came back I felt  _ alive _ ,” Ray says this because he needs to, he needs Brad to know how bad it felt on his end, and he wants to know how it felt on  _ his _ end because he can’t imagine that it was all roses for him either. 

 

Brad nods his head slowly, and Ray wonders if he was even listening to him when he asks, “I’m going to kiss you now, is that okay?”

 

“You weren’t even listening to me,” Ray says, and he tries to sound annoyed but it’s hard to do that when he has a wide grin on his face, “We’re going to talk about this like adults.”

 

“Yeah, of course,” Brad says as he brings a hand up to cradle Ray’s face, “We have a lifetime to talk about it.”

 

“That’s the gayest thing I’ve ever heard,” Ray whispers as he tips his head up slightly, “Well, what are you waiting for, Colbert, pony up and kiss me.”

 

Brad laughs but does as promised, leaning forward and capturing Ray’s mouth in a kiss that makes his toes curl. He knows they have a  _ lot _ to talk about, starting with the soulmate bond and ending with the fact that they’re both men, Brad is career, and Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell is still  _ very _ much a thing, but for now Ray enjoys the feel of the other man’s mouth on his, and the gentle way he’s cradling his head. 

 

They’ll worry about everything else  _ after _ they fuck like bunnies.

  
  



End file.
